Loneliness vs Solitude

I've been asked (again) recently if I am ever lonely in my art practice. I can in all confidence answer that with a resounding NO. Let me explain...

Loneliness and Solitude are not the same thing! The distinction is clear to anyone choosing a solitary life or career but not necessarily clear to those that seek out, and thrive in social situations. It fills their cup.

Our society often portrays people that prefer to be alone as missing out on something fundamental to the human condition. That it is wrong to want be alone and that aloneness constitutes missing out on connectedness and thus a perceived richness that enhances human life. 

Loneliness is involuntary and often very distressing. There's a darkness to it.

Solitude is the complete opposite. It is a deliberate choice to be alone. I feel a lightness and hope in my solitude.

For me, I think I probably need less interaction than the average person does. Our culture insists socializing is necessary to lead a full life. After a point socializing and small talk takes so much mental and emotional energy that I  find myself exhausted after a social event! 

I spent so many years in high energy jobs where I always had to be "up". I was responsible for remembering, and documenting and organizing all the personal and professional details of the people around me and I was always exhausted! Not an "Oh jeez I'm so tired today" kinda feeling but the come home from work and crawl into bed kind of exhaustion. 

This was a breaking point, and I subsequently walked away from a very good career after I was diagnosed with Complex Partial seizures. The pressure I was under exacerbated to a scary crisis point. The (undiagnosed) epileptic episodes I had experienced most of my life escalated and landed me in hospital.

The fallout was that I was unemployed and lonely, (yes I've been there) and without purpose.

 I drifted from job to job for a few years but it always came down to someone wanting me to take on more responsibilities and I would Turtle at the pressure, then quickly move on.

Then my art found me! I was always crafty and making things but this was different... I am grateful we were at a place in our lives where I was able to work at my own pace with no expectations from anyone but myself. I was a task master though and set some pretty stringent goals for myself. Even though I didn't have a clue what was ahead of me I felt a huge weight lifted. I just kept ploughing away making art, and people took notice. I then drew upon my experience teaching, created some kits and classes took off like wildfire! I was able to channel my energy towards my art and do what fed my heart ❤️ 

Being self employed as an artist is not for the faint of heart. It's a hustle! But its my hustle and I am extremely proud of all I have accomplished in the 11 years since I picked up my first piece of wire! (I do have a lot of advice to share with my younger-self if she ever needs it!)

As a professional, there are times when you absolutely must show up and put on your professional hat. In my world that most often entails teaching a class, but there's also client meetings, art shows etc. Most are not a lot of pressure really as I know my medium and projects well. I really do enjoy the occasion to celebrate my craft and share it with others but on my terms! 

So, once again my answer is no. I am never lonely. I treasure my solitude and I do enjoy my own company! I work through processes and ideas by talking to myself. I sing. I dance. And I know, when I do need to fill my cup, my people are there for me! 

(Photo is of the tree that started it all! It still resides on my wall and I look at it every day. )

Thank you for being here! Xo

Laura ❤️